December 15, 2017

How to Cope with Grief When the Holiday Season Feels Less Jolly

Hearing that your loved one has been diagnosed with a terminal illness or losing your loved one is difficult any time of year, but the holiday season presents unique challenges to families facing these situations. It’s a time to come together and be with or remember your loved one, but it can also be painful, especially when those around you are happy while you’re in a moment of grief.

At Ardent Hospice & Palliative Care, we understand and feel for our patients and families navigating the holiday season; they sometimes feel lost, angry, or confused while everyone around them is seemingly experiencing “tidings of great joy.” Here are a few ways to cope with grief during this challenging time of year.

Rely On Ardent

Our spiritual counselor and social workers tend to make a few more visits to families during the holidays. We know what a difficult season this can be, and we’ve found that companionship, and perhaps a plate of Christmas cookies or a thoughtful card, can ease some of the pain our families are going through. We like to keep in contact and make a few extra visits to our patients and families at this holiday season to make sure they’re coping appropriately and that they know they can count on us for support.

Our patients and families can also give us a call, 24/7, and receive support or request an additional visit from someone on our team. Our services are available to all families for more than a year after their loved one passes, so they can count on us through the holidays or whenever they need encouragement.

Embrace Support Groups

At Ardent, we host ongoing support groups for families who have had a loved one pass. These groups are open to anyone experiencing grief, not just our patients. It’s an opportunity to open up and work through the stages of grief with guidance from a spiritual counselor and social worker. Our support groups are a safe place to share your emotions and remind yourself that you’re not alone in going through this loss.

There are so many resources outside of Ardent, within the larger community, to help you get through the season as well. For instance, many local churches offer grief counseling, especially during the holidays. You can contact our team to get more information on meetings and groups that gather in your area.

Realize That It’s Going to Be a Difficult Season

Whether your loved one is on hospice care or it’s your first Christmas, Hanukkah, or New Years without them, it is going to be a difficult time of year. When someone you love was an integral part of your gatherings, their absence can significantly alter the holiday time your family spends together. If you find yourself feeling blue this Christmas season, know that it’s acceptable, and even expected. Most families will face emotional challenges as they recall memories of holiday traditions spent with their loved one. Remember that it’s okay to miss your loved one, acknowledge the difficulty of them not being around, and lean on your other family members for support when needed.

Take Time to Remember & Honor Your Loved One

That being said, do not, in any way, feel guilty over finding joy in the holiday season. When we speak to our patients on hospice care, typically their biggest concern is how their family will cope when they’re gone; they want their family to be able to move on, and not be overwhelmed or incapacitated with grief.

You may be able to heal, or at least deal with the season, by remembering the light your loved one brought into your life. Consider purchasing a special ornament to remember and honor their life; we have many families who now decorate their trees with an angel to help them remember they have someone they love watching over them. If your loved one is still with you, use this time to express how much you love them and make memories you’ll treasure for years to come.

Find a Way to Give Back

Sometimes the best way to heal or overcome your grief, especially during the holidays, is giving back and volunteering. Focusing your attention on others in need can sometimes pull you out of your sadness—even if it’s just for a few hours. Plus, knowing you’ve brought joy to someone else and have made a difference in their life will often leave you with a feeling of joy as well.

If you need encouragement or help coping with the loss of your loved one, please get in touch with us. You can contact Ardent Hospice & Palliative Care at any time by calling (858) 952-1786. Our team wishes you love, warmth, and joy this holiday season.